The month of February connotes Valentine’s Day, which turns our thoughts to the topic of “love.” But what is love? Is it a feeling? A force? Is it God? Is it all there is? Trying to define “love” is like trying to define “infinity.” How do words come remotely close to capturing either?
If we use the concept so freely, I suggerst that we get honest and real with it. I find that we may know love best by knowing what it is not. By contrast, that is. We instinctively know when we are not feeling or behaving in a loving way. And perhaps, even more so, we know when someone else is not being loving toward us. At its best, this process of noticing helps us to tune ourselves up.
In “love relationships” it gets even more murky. What so often passes for love is actually obsession or addiction. Do you really love that person, or do you need them? Love is unconditional. Anything else is an imposter. To love is to embrace without clutching, to give versus to barter, and to allow instead of to control.
This is how we get real with love. Sound like a tall order? While it is not easy, it is possible, at least in glimpses anyway. And the key is self-reverence. To value oneself is to value others. To like oneself is to accept others as they are. To trust oneself is to allow others to be as they are. A strong and steady loving relationship with oneself opens the gateway for loving relationships with others and with all of life.
So on Valentine’s Day and all other days, get real with love. Practice awareness of love, and cultivate the relationship with Self that is the fertile soil within which love can grow. You do not need to define love when you are able to live it. You will just know. From my heart to yours, Happy Valentine’s (every)Day!
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Wednesday evening I co-hosted a talk and discussion entitled, ”Creating Cooperative Relationships.” My co-host was my good friend and colleague Lori Guth Moffett, CYT. We had an amazing time sharing info about how powerful and sacred the energy between us and within us is, and how it can be a powerful source of healing in this world. After illustrating how the chakras emanate energy (thanks to my brave volunteer!), I tried something I had never done before. I asked who in the audience was having a challenging time in the heart/love department of life. One woman raised her hand and I checked her fourth charkra with the pendulum. It indicated that her heart energy was very blocked (or protected). Then I asked her to relax and allow the group to send her loving, healing energy intentions to her heart chakra. After about a minute of so of our sending her energy (wonderfully led by Lori), I tested her fourth chakra once again. To the amazement of the entire room, the pendulum began swinging clockwise freely.
It is always amazing and awe-inspiring how very spiritually enpowered we really are. In relationships, we have choices. We can complain, see what we do not like, feel deprived or resentful. Or we can know there is only love and that it is possible to send this love to others. We saw how immediately a group of strangers can come together and send love to one of its members who is struggling. I suggest we do this in all our relationships, including our relationship to Mother Earth and all of us on the planet. Less complaints and more compassion would serve us all. And it is far easier than you would think. Try it. We thank you.
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Lately the topic of “relationships” has been prominent in my thinking, writing, facilitating and speaking. Why? Because I believe it’s all relationships really. We live amidst a fabric of relationships at every level of our being, from personal to professional, from near to far (via technology), from within us (cellular) to between us (interpersonal). Recently a colleague in NYC asked me to be a guest on her radio show which focuses on women’s self-worth and empowerment. She asked for my topic and I suggested “authenticity.” (The show is on www.blogtalkradio.com/DeliciousRadio hosted by Barbora Knobova, PhD. Let me know what you think of our discussion. I will be featuring her in an upcoming blog.)
What does authenticity mean and how do we know that we are being authentic? When are we more likely to be authentic and when not? What does it depend on? What are the risks of being authentic and what are the benefits? Do men and women behave differently regardning authenticity and if so, how?
Now that I’ve posed more questions than I can answer, I’ll offer some thoughts. My first thought is that we are often self-deceptive. While we feel we are being authentic with others, this is often not the case. I believe that it takes a certain level of consciousness, awareness, and courage to be largely honest with oneself. Then it takes another level of courage together with a healthy dose of self-worth to be authentic (or honest) with another. Mostly we are afraid to be rejected and to lose love and approval. This fear causes us to stay at arm’s length from the transparency required to have true intimacy.
Each of us has survived through the history of our life experiences, which in turn creates our stories. We then proceed to frighten ourselves with these stories and to lead a diminished life. What would your life be like if you turned on all your lights, revved up all your cylinders, and headed toward your heart’s desires — in work/career, relationships, abundance, health & vitality? Do yourself a crucial favor and think about this. Really, really think about what it would be like if you were living a truly authentic life. I recommend that you spend a few minutes each day marinating in these mental and emotional juices. Add on a few minutes of clearing your mind and experiencing space and peace. Then watch carefully as your life changes. Do let me know what happens.
Filed under: Enlightenment | Comment (0)
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