Lately the topic of “relationships” has been prominent in my thinking, writing, facilitating and speaking.  Why?  Because I believe it’s all relationships really.  We live amidst a fabric of relationships at every level of our being, from personal to professional, from near to far (via technology), from within us (cellular) to between us (interpersonal).  Recently a colleague in NYC asked me to be a guest on her radio show which focuses on women’s self-worth and empowerment.  She asked for my topic and I suggested “authenticity.”  (The show is on www.blogtalkradio.com/DeliciousRadio hosted by Barbora Knobova, PhD.  Let me know what you think of our discussion.  I will be featuring her in an upcoming blog.)

What does authenticity mean and how do we know that we are being authentic?  When are we more likely to be authentic and when not?  What does it depend on?  What are the risks of being authentic and what are the benefits?  Do men and women behave differently regardning authenticity and if so, how? 

Now that I’ve posed more questions than I can answer, I’ll offer some thoughts.  My first thought is that we are often self-deceptive.  While we feel we are being authentic with others, this is often not the case.  I believe that it takes a certain level of consciousness, awareness, and courage to be largely honest with oneself.  Then it takes another level of courage together with a healthy dose of self-worth to be authentic (or honest) with another.  Mostly we are afraid to be rejected and to lose love and approval.  This fear causes us to stay at arm’s length from the transparency required to have true intimacy. 

Each of us has survived through the history of our life experiences, which in turn creates our stories.  We then proceed to frighten ourselves with these stories and to lead a diminished life.  What would your life be like if you turned on all your lights, revved up all your cylinders, and headed toward your heart’s desires — in work/career, relationships, abundance, health & vitality?  Do yourself a crucial favor and think about this.  Really, really think about what it would be like if you were living a truly authentic life.  I recommend that you spend a few minutes each day marinating in these mental and emotional juices.  Add on a few minutes of clearing your mind and experiencing space and peace.  Then watch carefully as your life changes.  Do let me know what happens.

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Recently I have been speaking on the topic of “relationships.” I’m thinking about this topic once again in preparation for my NEW monthly series entitled, “Relationships & the Zodiac” (where the Law of Attraction + the Zodiac meet!) It occured to me that we can indeed think of relationships as a spiritual practice. While this may seem a bit odd at first, consider that spiritual development can happen elsewhere than sitting in an ashram chanting OM. In fact, sitting and chanting is the easy part. Mixing it up in life with others is where the dicey part begins. Some of us avoid intimate relationships. Some of us jump in and become part of the spin cycle. And some of us are interested in learning from relationships to be better versions of ourselves.

Living with another (whether cohabiting or not) is a delicate balance. It involves the intersection of two lives complete with a history of “stories” for each. It involves the web of extended relationships each person is involved in. It reflects the mutual projections of each person upon the other. Not for the weak of heart, right?Know that there is much to gain and to learn, and ways to grow from experience in intimate relationships as well.

Here are just a couple of guidelines for us to remember. 1.) It’s all relationship. You cannot exist in this world without participating in a network of relationships. 2.) Be willing to accept full responsibility for your experience of all your relationships. The only common denominator in all of your relationships is YOU! 3.) Know that you are constantly projecting your stories, past experiences and fears onto your relationships. Get to know yourself in a compassionate and authentic way. This is an important prerequisite to having peaceful and joyful relationships with others. Oh, and 4.) Be light with it all. Enjoy yourself and the other person, and be open to what you two can joyously learn together!

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